Walk with me, o my Lord

During the last retreat we had attended, Brother Edmund had asked the participants who had problems at their job to raise their hands.
I too had raised my hand.

Since December 2012, I was holding a job, but was not assigned work. In other words, on 'bench'.

My supervisor had (unfairly as I think) assigned me the lowest rating possible for performance.
This was even though all evaluators( 3 of them) said I was hard working and technically competent.
I tried to protest this injustice, but nothing came out of it.

Due to this, no one wanted to take me to their project.

After a few months of not being assigned work, the HR manager had called me and suggested that I look for another job.
I was most upset, and even though I thought it would be no good, I sent him the details of the circumstances in which I had been given a low rating.
By God's grace, my service was not terminated.
I have since learnt that many others with similar low rating had been dismissed. Even some with much longer loyalty service record and much more professionally qualified.

However, I cannot say how disappointed I was about all these incidents that happened.
I felt that the job that God had given me was being taken away unfairly by a human.
It was not a nice feeling at all.

During this tough time, God gave me a lot of grace. Even though I was sad, I never felt too disturbed.
I could be at peace in my small world.
God had taught me that He is the Lord who works for my salvation.

I tried for other jobs. I had passed to HR round of one company. But when they tried to call me for their requirement, I missed their calls and emails and saw it two days later. That way I lost that opportunity too.

Before I had come for the retreat, I had attended another interview. That too only at my husband's insistence.

I could not honestly say that I had ever prayed for the supervisor at my workplace who caused so much pain.
During the retreat, after Brother had asked those with problems at workplace to raise our hands,
God gave me the grace to pray that the supervisor would also come to see Jesus.

That same day while I was eating dinner, the representative of the company I had attended the interview with, called on my number.  The phone was upstairs in my room and on silent mode.
However my daughter noticed it and brought it to me. To cut the long story short, I got an offer from that company.

During the period with no work, I got to spend some time with my family and God. This was a very great blessing.

Another funny thing is that during that time each time I opened the Bible, I would get some part about building God's temple. Our parish church is building a new church building.
I finally took the messages to mean that I should give some money for the purpose.
I did, thinking that probably it would be the last time that I would be giving tithe.
I was relieved when I stopped getting the same parts from the Holy Book.

Now is the stunner. God granted it that the salary per annum the new company has offered is for a sum almost exactly equal to 100 times the amount I gave away.

I was just thinking about this coincidence when the Bible opened to Wisdom 11:18-20.
Wisdom 11: 20(b) "But you have chosen to measure, count, and weigh everything you do."
Then the words, " now that you have learnt it, go and do likewise."

God also took care that I would go to the new organization in peace.

God allowed it to happen that I pass a competency test for the existing employment with no preparation at all.
And then, an HR representative called me.
He told me that in spite of all the people who worked against me, I should be really positive, and that all people are not untrustworthy. Apparently he and the HR manager who had initially suggested that I look for another job had supported me through all the chopping and pruning that had taken place within the organization.
Wonder of wonders, he even went so far as to scold me for not considering him my friend!!
God be praised! It was almost unbelievable.

Romans 8:28 : In all things God works for good with those who love him.

God has taught me a lot through this experience.
May He grant us the grace always to trust in Him and
may His will be done!!
 

The great leveller

Let me share a thought which came to me during one of the trips to CMC Vellore with my father. In the Haematology department you have hoards of people thronging the cramped space for various reasons. Many of them come for consultations, some for chemo treatment, some for blood transfusions...... There is hardly an inch for you to sit down. Few benches are there placed along the wall which are shared by the hundreds who visit the department from morning till sun down. You would find the poorest of the poor to the wealthiest of all sharing the worn out benches, rubbing shoulders with each other. They all share common feelings of despair, fear, hopelessness, compassion and even joy. It makes you realize that sickness is a great leveller. It brings people down to the same level irrespective of who you are, what you have and how you have lived. The great leveller.

Few days later while thinking of this I was reminded of another great leveller. The one who came down for the poorest of poor to the wealthiest of all. The one who taught, healed, shared meals and spent time with people from just about every walk of life. Tax collectors, rich men, prostitutes, lepers, fishermen.....and did a great levelling with His Love. There was no partiality, no bias when it came to teaching Love, expressing Love and role modelling Love. He brought down everyone and everything to the same level with Love. 

Jesus Christ - the great(est) leveller.

Dear friends, this is my first blog entry and am happy that it is a testimony. 

Last month we went on a 4 days trip to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Every year we go on a trip as a family but this was the first time we were travelling abroad. And it turned out to be a fantastic trip carried out by the hand of God.

 An International holiday with family was a dream for us over the last 3-4 years but could never gather sufficient funds to have one. From last year I started praying for a holiday abroad, though it was mostly an on & off prayer. Earlier this year we felt that we may be able to squeeze in the required funds to make it to Malaysia, since it is the most economical “foreign country” as compared to others. We targeted Dusshera holidays and were working in secrecy without giving any hopes to the children.

For the last 6 odd months I was constantly checking on ticket prices, hotel rates, sightseeing tickets, currency conversion, local transportation, telephone cards etc.to strike the best bargain. Meanwhile kids also got a wind of our plans and they were excited from head to toe. We were planning to make the air ticket booking in August.

But there was one hitch. The ticket cost was coming over the credit limit available on my credit cards. I then applied to Citibank for an increase in the credit limit. They asked for few documents which I promptly submitted. But after 3-4 days they rejected my request. This was very surprising since they had often troubled me in the past with offers to increase the credit limit which I was not very comfortable and had refused. We were disappointed but then looked for the next option which was to pay most of the fare by card and the rest by cash. For this I was planning to go to the airlines office to make the booking.

Then something crazier happened. Both my credit cards were disabled by Citibank, the very next day. It turned out that they had issued me a replacement card the previous month but did not carry forward the outstanding to the new card. And hence I was seen as a defaulter and so they blocked both my cards. It was very disheartening and then it took me about a week to untangle the whole mess and get the credit cards enabled once again. Though the bank apologized we were quite upset by the episode. By then the ticket fares had shot up for the dates we had in mind.

All the while I was really praying towards the holidays and had surrendered everything to the Lord. And one blockage after the other made me think that perhaps the Lord is telling me to drop the plans. Though it would’ve been heartbreaking for the kids I had sort of abandoned the plan in my mind. All I was praying was for the strength to break the news to our kids.

Then came the turning point. The very next day there was a big announcement from Air Asia slashing ticket prices to Kuala Lumpur. To our total surprise the tickets were almost half the price of what they were just a week ago. And now the total cost was coming well within the credit limit on my card! Our holiday plan came back to life again. Finally we were able to book our tickets for nearly half the price of what we would’ve paid had we booked earlier.

We then faced another obstacle in the form of illness. 2 out of 3 kids were down with cold, cough and wheezing. Even with medication they were still sick. By God’s grace they were fine throughout the journey. Though the sickness did not go away we were able to manage it well. 

Everything out there in KL turned out to be fun and excitement. Though this was the first trip aboard kids were able to adapt to the new environment, the food, public amenities etc. without any problem.  We could bond even more as a family and enjoy the time together. Finally we touched down with lot of good memories.

 Yet again the Good Lord showed His plan for us is perfect though we failed to see the big picture. Those obstacles in the beginning saved us money. Those moments of disappointment taught us to bank on Him and not on a credit card. And those moments of sickness made us reach out to Him than to a bottle of medicine.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. (Jer 29:11)

Thank you Father!

Praying For Others

Praying for others.

All of us have often heard the saying of Jesus in the New Testament in Matthew 5: 43  :
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you".

This was one command of Christ about which there were gaps in my understanding.
(probably gaps still exist, for the Word of God is so profound... I can only see
one angle at a time.)

This commandment once seemed to me as more of a 'saintly' command to follow.
How I understood it to mean is that if you can do it, it is a good deed and you must be a really saintly person.
If you did not (or rather could not),  you would remain just a normal human being only with that plus point missing.
In other words, a good to have, but not necessary virtue.

God thankfully wants me to realize the error of my ways and showed me
it was an actual sin not to pray in that fashion.

Let me tell you about the context where I learned this. I had been praying for
a person's interests and it so happened that the next time we met, that person
behaved a bit rudely. I began to think, is it really necessary
to pray for that person's interests now?

That is when God gave me a firm knock on the head through his Word.

The message came through the book of Samuel, about the sin of the Israelites in asking for a king
and the response of Samuel. This is the Word :

1 Samuel 12:23.
"As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you".

The message was clear : it is regarded a sin against the LORD to fail to pray.
You cannot be a righteous person before God, if you cannot pray for others.

Praise be to God for loving me enough to correct me!